Radical Acceptance
Good Morning! Yesterday, two giant trees fell on my house. When something bad happens, gratitude can be helpful. Fortunately, the trees didn’t hurt anyone or come inside the house. I am grateful for that, but I’m not totally there with acceptance. The trees damaged some parts of the roof, the chimney, knocked out air-conditioning, and created a giant costly mess. I just finished getting my fence repaired and painted it…the paint was barely dry and now the fence is smashed. When I saw all this, I got moving-cleaning up and getting people to come in with cranes to get the trees out. You could say I accepted the situation, but that wouldn’t be totally true. Why? Because I’m really only partially accepting it. I got moving because I needed to be able to go in and out of my door. But the truth is I’m sort of whiny and angry and annoyed inside (and my family would tell you outside as well.) I’m moving forward resentfully.
The act of learning to experience things you didn’t expect or want–without judging or rejecting– is a large part of mindfulness. This type of acceptance has been termed Radical Acceptance. It means accepting a situation and your feelings about it without ignoring them or fighting reality. Saying, “I just paid to repair that fence and I just painted it…” is the opposite of accepting. In essence it’s saying, “That’s not fair.”
Radical acceptance means accepting all the feelings that come with a situation without pushing them away or ignoring them. How do we radically accept anything? By sitting and thinking about it in a willing posture, with a gentle smile, while staying connected to your breath.
Today’s practice will help you to accept parts of your experience that you cannot control without being resentful, controlling, angry, or feeling stuck. Acceptance frees us from unnecessary sadness, frustration, and feelings of helplessness.
After the practice is over. Sit for a minute to create recognition of your own calm, centered space. If you find yourself having difficulty accepting during the day, refocus with breath to stay connected and centered.
Be well!
Michele
